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The lost art of conversation



Are we losing the art of conversation as we all seem "hooked" on connectivity and being "available" 24/7?    All too sadly it seems commonplace to see couples dining out with both on the phone or texting.   

The American satirist P.J. O'Rourke once claimed no topic was taboo at the dinner table. ''Even grandchildren can be discussed,'' he wrote, ''if you have adequate detachment to sketch them as the little beasts they are.''

Whatever the subject matter, O'Rourke advocated a few rules: the better the wine, the brighter the talk; mix good talkers with good listeners; never invite obsessives, even if they all share a passion. ''Six fervent devotees of French Symbolist poetry will be fine through soup, but by cheese and fruit they will be yelling at each other.''

Of course, O'Rourke was writing before the invention of YouTube. Nowadays, the French Symbolist devotees would be giggling at a video of a hamster eating popcorn on a piano long before the stilton had arrived.

Only a few years ago, it was considered uncouth to use a mobile phone at mealtime. But since phones got smart, they have become participants in table talk. They settle arguments when facts are in dispute. They entertain when conversation lags. Like many talkative guests, however, they have a tendency towards boorishness and, if allowed, will dominate discussion for hours. All it takes is a casual aside about some online clip and the evening spirals into a viewing festival, transforming even the most eloquent guest into a square-eyed zombie.

Something similar happened to Louise Howland on a recent camping trip. The moon was full and Mozart's Requiem was playing on someone's iPod. Talk turned to how the composer died. There were a few theories, but then someone looked it up on Wikipedia. ''That was the end of the conversation,'' Howland says."


Continue reading here.

Over at The New York Times a piece "In Defense of Ordinary Dinner Conversation" discusses much the same topic.

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